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..is this thing on? [31 Dec 2007|01:28pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Neil Young "Out on the weekend" ] Woah. It's been almost a year since an update. Here I am, another year about to end, in another relationship, going nowhere. At least I still have my awesome dog, a good friend or two, and some records that still play. Perhaps its been my time to be alone for a while now, (can we say YEARSSSS????) and I just need to take full advantage of it, and enjoy being alone. Some people are in way more horrible sittuations than me, and can't get out. I can, and want to, so I am going to do that, even if I'll end up in debt, and have to sleep at work for a couple weeks, haha. Layin' in the bed you make is the only way to make things full circle sometimes. Life goes on. Happy New year, old friends and new. 2 sins| be forgiven

Sometimes I'd call him your name by accident. [12 Mar 2007|09:58am] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | The Zombies & ELO ] I feel like I've never really been "depressed" before. I guess I just think people overuse that word. Like, maybe you're sad, but you're not depressed. I don't know if I'm depressed. But I sure am VERY fucking bummed. I don't really know what to do, or how to act. I don't know if I should go out, and risk hurting myself, or just stay at home forever. All I have wanted to do for 5 days now is just SLEEP. Last night I actually got a bed, instead of just a box spring and mattress on the floor. I also got a matching mission style dresser which my dad refinished in 1973. It was really cute because when I was putting the drawers back in, I saw his little signature. He was 23 then. That's just about how old I am now. He was married. I feel like I'm never going to find someone I love as much as the first person I ever loved, no matter what. I was kidding myself thinking that Chris and I would ever work, but it still doesn't make it hurt any less. Every dude in Baltimore sucks, man. I would rather hang out with my dog. Blahhhhh! Hates it. PS ELO is seriously the best ever man, I can't stop. 2 sins| be forgiven

To each their own, my mom always said. [29 Jan 2007|07:25pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Texas is the reason ] This morning we woke up extra early and took Oscar to the park. He ran and hopped and skipped and played until his nose started to dribble from the cold. He came home and drank a ton of water and ate a hearty breakfast. I made tea and caught a good recipe on the tv before I had to dress for work. Waking up earlier is so amazing. My whole day felt motivated and I even stayed late at work. Being sober isn't so bad afterall! Miss America is on tv tonight, and I'd kind of like to watch it. I am fascinated with a world so completely different than my own. The girls look plastic. I wonder what talent will be the most unique?! (woah, this is my life..checkkkk) I love working with Brittany. My days seem more calm and evenly distributed. She is a very positive person, and positivity is the best thing for me now. I would go as far to say, she is celestial..... David Lynch's new book saved my life. I have been meditating. I know that sounds gay, but to each their own. If it worked for Mr. Lynch, it will work for me. The next day I have off of work is Tuesday, Feb. 6th. I will wake up at 8am that day, drive to New York City, and get tattooed by Kat Von D. I am very excited to finally have a good tattoo on my body. And I don't care how much it costs. I haven't even really told anyone, cus it's kind of dorky. Ah well, ...to each their own. 2 sins| be forgiven

On a lighter note [24 Jan 2007|06:29pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Prince ] I really wish I had a freckle on my face. Or a couple. Not like, redheaded people kind of freckleSSSSSSSSS but just a couple, like, beauty marks. I'm so boring looking. 4 sins| be forgiven

Oh, Baltimore [24 Jan 2007|05:37pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | The Talking Heads ] I've lived in other cities. I visit other cities all the time. The grass is always greener on the other side. That is not to say that I'm NEVER going to leave here, but for now, things are good. I have a great job, an amazing boss, and my family here to keep me warm. I see no point in whinning all the time (ok so maybe a little on this here livejournal, but it doesn't count because it's only for me, and almost secret, seeing as though I have only started to update it recently, and my "friends list" now is quite smaller or different compared to my current IRL friends-yeah I said IRL bro) and trying to get people to feel sorry for me, saying "IM GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THIS SHITHOLE". If you want to move, then just fucking do it dude, save up some cash, and go. Don't sit on your ass complaining about it for months, and then every time someone mentions "hey this summer, we should.... ---fill in the blank..." reply with, "oh! I wont be here this summer, IM GETTING OUT OF THIS SHITHOLE"... I think I've probably written about 5 entries like this throughout the millions of years I've had a livejournal. But it just seems to be this thing all my friends like to do and say. Its fucking annoying dude. Im really proud of my best friend for quitting drinking. I'm proud that she is spending time with her family after years of neglecting them. I'm proud that she's finding handouts from all of her friends to keep her busy and keep a minimal income until she has enough money to "get out of this shithole". But there are only so many times she can bite off the hand that feeds her until she'll be pushed out of "this shithole". I'm over it. If everything I've ever done for her, or every time I helped her out when she was down, got her a job, or money, or ride to somewhere, or help when she was upset--is just going to be in vein, then maybe our friendship is at the point of spoiling anyway. Maybe I would be better off here WITHOUT her. Why do friendships sometimes feel more like shitty middle school dating? That's all for today. I leave you with one good piece of advice my boss told me today. He said, "Angie...ALWAYS tell the truth. ALWAYS. Because when that day comes that you really, and I mean REAAAAAAALLLY need to lie, it better be good". 2 sins| be forgiven

Update [20 Jan 2007|04:27pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Lux Perpetua-"On that night ] Work is awesome. I just got a large raise, but its still not enough to make me comfy. But I love my job and it's totally way better than any of your jobs haha so fuck off. I am very excited to hang out with most of my close friends tonight all in one place at an old school house party hosted by Chase & Pony. Chris is back from being in Nola for a hearing to discuss what the guy who shot his sister will be charged for in court. I think its going to be 1st degree murder..but Chris hasnt been in the mood to talk to me about it, and we only got to talk for like 2 seconds before I had to go back to work. I mean, this dude straight rolled up to a bunch of kids at a party (yeah kids, 19-21 yr olds) and shot them all. And they all died. His sister is the only one who lived, if you can call it that. He deserves that shit. My "trying to stay positive" thing is going okay... although while Kate and I were talking about trying to stay positive yesterday I stopped in the middle of the convo to beep at some asshole who cut me off, yelled FUCK YOU DUDE! And stuck my middle finger at him. Thats not very positive. I guess Ill be taking baby steps. That is all. I have off tomorrow. I plan to buy new jeans and meet up with everyone for brunch. Life is good. be forgiven

Dear God, Make it stop. [08 Jan 2007|05:03pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | Brothers & Sisters ] I cannot wait to open the auction house so that I will be able to chill out on ebay listings. Today has sucked. I need 30 listings up by 7. Its 5, I barely have 15 up. I want to kill myself. Below is my life. Not that I ever have much to complain about, but these are the shittiest of the shit listings. Some days I have great stuff, today can eat ballz. I just want to watch The Devil & Daniel Johnston curled up in bed with Oscar and Lil Chris. Vintage Heavy 10K Hot pink Stone Ladies Cocktail Ring Vintage 14K Ladies Bulova Rose Gold Rubies Watch Pair of Vintage Faux Cameo Slide Bracelets Edgar Berebi Limited Edition Essence of pearl Cameo Vintage Steuben Air Twist Heavy Glass Pitcher Vintage Stueben Air Twist Water Goblet Glass Heavy Vintage 1940's WWII Era Sailors Grave Injury Authentic Photo Vintage Black Frame Emo Punk Rockabilly Nerd Glasses Vintage Men's Elgin Pocket Watch Silver Works! The Perfected Poultry of America 1907 Breeds of Poultry Book 1st Edition HUGE Lot of Vintage Costume Jewelry Necklaces++ Rhinestones NR! Vintage Royal Brierly Crystal Sherry Glass Set of 6 NR Swarovsky Big 3" Bear Silver Crystal Figurine New In Box 3 sins| be forgiven

About this person you used to care about. [06 Jan 2007|05:49pm] [ mood | sad ] Its a totally weird feeling when someone you used to care a ton about starts making fucked up decisions, and you realize that once you two stopped hanging out, they began to seriously FUCK UP their entire life. Its like you stop being in the good movie, it turns bad, and you're not in the movie anymore, you're in the theatre about to walk out because you know there's a scene coming up where this person you used to care about is going to get a raging case of herpes, and be the laughing stock of the city you share, in a heap of other dudes left to rot. The demise of a man. A man you used to care about. be forgiven

Breaking down to build it up [28 Apr 2006|12:49pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Nothing. ] Ok so maybe I'll start updating a bit more since my job is boring and I don't have anything else to do here. I just have to make a promise to myself to lay off reading old entries, and maybe delete an old friend whose entries will eventually make me cry. WEEEEEEE! The Ergs are tonight! 4 sins| be forgiven

Myspace is down and I'm bored at work [06 Aug 2005|10:56am] The OK GO "a million ways" video on myspace is fucking halarious. I've been watching it for weeks, check it out. Oh and thanks to Chunklet for this one: Q: What should you do if you see a member of My Chemical Romance staggering off stage? A: Reload. be forgiven

To a complaining wasteoid! [05 Aug 2005|10:43am] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | Jawbreaker-24 Hour Revenge Therapy ] I never go on livejournal anymore. It's boring. Life is great. I heard a stupid story afew weeks ago that someone I used to be good friends with said I changed. I have since spoke about this with other friends from long ago and determined that the people who are always claiming "gawwddd....everyone is so different" are the ones who have changed. I am practically the same person I was 5 years ago. The only thing that is different is I'm even more nerdy and awkward, and I drink more. Seriously! I still listen to the Descendents everyday and I couldn't start a conversation with a boy in public to save my life! If there's one thing that living in another city taught me it's that you can go around everywhere and still be bored with your "scene". The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener in my room with my toys and records and comics. Which is still BY THE WAY my favorite place to hang out, over any bar in town. It's not to say this works for everyone, but it definitly works for me. If you want to talk shit, know what you're talking about. The person who said these things about me hasn't done one thing for or by herself ever in her entire life. It's easy to make accusations when you sit around all day getting handed everything. Keep pointing fingers, and one day when you have no choice but to do something on your own (which may never come, since she is so dependent on everyone else) gimme a call and maybe I can give you some advice on how to do it. I'm still learning new things every day. I don't know everything, but I know enough to stay away from ungreatful shit talkers like you. 5 sins| be forgiven

[09 Jun 2005|11:43am] be forgiven

Baltimore. [09 Jun 2005|11:43am] I'm home. 2 sins| be forgiven

blah blah blahblee blah [06 Apr 2005|04:54pm] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | Hot Snakes-Suicide Invoice ] I really wish I was back in Baltimore so I could be in the Uppercrust dvd. I really miss home this week. Ever since Never Enough left I've been homesick. For almost the first time since being in Memphis. The first REAL bad amount. I hate the heat here, and I miss having friends who understand my humor and sarcasm. I miss having friends with the balls to get rowdy in a proper manner, not just get stone cold drunk. Although I must admit, last night at work Maggie and I got BUCK WILD. We demolished a $35.00 gourmet carrot cake by throwing it at eachother from close and far ranges. I still have cream cheese icing in my hair. How Tres Chic. In lue of missing baltimore so much I rented The Wire. That is all. Love Ang 2 sins| be forgiven

at work [04 Apr 2005|01:51pm] Its too hot here in Memphis already. Dj night is going phenomenal, though we are taking the next two weeks off. Never Enough got stranded here and it sucked for them but kinda ruled for me. I miss Baltimore a ton since I was hanging out with the guys so much. Since they left I don't want to go out at all. I've been drinking a little wine in my house, doing lots of laundry and reading lots of comics. I found a great shop here in town off of Poplar and its like my new home or geekdom. I also spent half my rent on records. Husker Du, Thin Lizzy live, The Stranglers, The Jam, Hellicopters, Genuwine and much much more to list afew. Life is alright, but my longing for Baltimore may soon take over. Last rent here is paid in June. 1 sin| be forgiven

Quick update [01 Feb 2005|10:50am] [ mood | missing bmore ] [ music | Skrewdriver ] Memphis is nice. I have found an amazing gal here to hang out with and share the same ideas about everything with. When I move back to Baltimore she's coming with me. Her name is Piper and I love her to death. I DJ at the HITONE every tuesday which is fun, but the hangovers on wednesdays are not. Work is okay. I meet lots of interesting people everyday, and Memphis is a great place for the kind of art that I'm into. I miss seeing good shows, the only bands that play in Memphis are shitty garage rock. I really miss Nick and Pat and Kara and Tony and Reptilian and my family and bro....but I'll hopefully be visiting soon to get my Bmore on. I'm so pissed I didn't get to come hang out in the snow. Dori- How's your belly? I've been thinking about you. I hope you, Madison and Donald are doing great....I can't wait to hear about the baby! I wish my rent would lower.I wish it would stay this cold. 5 sins| be forgiven

[16 Dec 2004|02:24pm] I hate applying for jobs but yesterday I could feel the depression coming on...so I went crazy. Applied at two coffee shops, one 9 to 5er sales joint for Memphis Magazine, and Delias office. Today I'm going to Borders and some places downtown. I'm running out of ideas but I figure the more I put in the more chances I have of just at least ONE calling back. I'm also taking bartending classes and trying to open all horizons. I want to do things I haven't been able to do in Baltimore because of distractions, or sheer laziness. (Although I haven't slacked on that here, either) I have, however finished a book on JFK that was amazing. I got a gig spinning records at the Hi Tone on Tuesdays and I'm excited about that. But for now, back to the resume updates and missing people. Wish me luck ***UPDATE 12-17 I got the Job at Otherlands, a coffee bar in the heart of Midtown, Memphis. I start tomorrow at noon. WOOOOO! High fives for working in some weird ass art fag coffee hangout. 5 sins| be forgiven

I'm here. Not there. [09 Dec 2004|04:20pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Computer lab pitter patter ] I'm now living in Memphis and pretty bored. I'm too awkward and weird to apply for jobs yet. I feel weird about it and haven't done it in a long time. My house and neighborhood rules though. So does my roommate and her two adorable Jack Russell terriers, Calie and Basil. Sleep is hard alone and the house gets really cold at night. No friends yet, all the ones worth speaking about are still in Baltimore, but thats ok. Sun Records rules....and so will High On Fire Saturday night, plus the Lucero new years eve show. I want to buy a $2,000 Stella--a Vespa rip off-- from the dealer down the street. As soon as I find a job I'll start some payments dudes for real. Missing everyone. 4 sins| be forgiven

thump. [11 Nov 2004|12:00pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Oasis-Talk Tonight single ] The lining of my heart hurts. 1 sin| be forgiven

Go to this, tatty bros reprasent! [04 Nov 2004|12:12pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | All-Live plus one ] ON THE WALL: *Tattoo Skateboard Art* A reception for the amazing art show now running at Holy Frijoles @ 908 W. 36th St. in Hampden. 7pm til they kick us all out! Featuring framed art as well as some KILLER painted skateboards by Chris Smith, Joe Shupp, John Shea, Terry Morgan, Adam Jefferies, Doug Hansen, Dana Helmuth, Josh Griffin, Travis Oerman and John Baumann. The show will be up until Dec. 31st but tonight is the night to see it! Come get drunk with us and take advantage of the late night happy hour starting at 10:30. 2 sins| be forgiven

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